.
Ok we received an ask about someone who was having trouble reaching sub space. @spoiled-lil-kitten mentioned (in a different ask) that there is a chemical element to sub space. Being that I am the resident Sadist on staff, I have done a bit (read a lot) of reading on the subject and will try to give you a highlight reel of what I have learned.
***WARNING CONTAINS SCIENCE***
What is happening when sub space is reached by means of physical and or emotional PAIN is essentially an opioid high.
Yep, you read that right. A good scene is like mild morphine straight to the brain.
A recent study at U of M also concluded that the same is true for emotional pain. So for all you humiliation and verbal degradation lovers these tips are for you too.
Let me nerd that out for you…
There are four opioid receptors in our brain: mu-opioid (MOR), kappa-opioid (KOR), delta-opioid (DOR) and nociceptin(NOP). Increasing these receptors or the molecules that bind to them will produce an opioid high. These effects are most commonly found in the ventral striatum, amygdala, midline thalamus, and periaqueductal gray regions of the brain.
Depending on what receptors you increase the analgesic effect will be greater or lesser.
The MORs are the ones that heroin and morphine act on.
DORs are the receptors that most of your antidepressants latch on to.
KORs I’ll be honest I don’t know much about KORs except that they cause dysphoria when activated and counter a lot of the effects of MORs
Now wasn’t that fun?
Ok so what?
Well, the ask was about not being able to hit sub space. Here’s why all that up there matters. There are things you can do that will activate those receptors so that you can be “primed” before a scene to enter sub space.
Here goes:
Cold exposure also increases “Heat Shock Inducible Factor”, which increases opioid receptors. Specifically, mu and delta opioid receptors, the same receptors that heroin and morphine work on. By increasing these receptors, our innate opioids are more likely to bind to receptors and activate them. So when the flog hits and the brain says kill the pain there will be more receptors available to flood. Meaning… take a cold shower before a scene.
Get some rest… Sleep deprivation decreases mu and delta opioid receptor binding in the limbic system, which controls emotions to increase feelings of pleasure
Have a drink. Drinking alcohol induces opioid release in the nucleus accumbens and orbitofrontal cortex, areas of the brain implicated in reward valuation. Just A drink. If you over do it you will negate the effect.
Take magnesium. Studies show that magnesium amplifies the analgesic effect of low-dose morphine in conditions of sustained pain this will allow our natural opioids to be more effective.
Melatonin. Melatonin exerts its analgesic actions by increasing the release of beta-endorphins.
Hold your breath (or have someone hold it for you 😈) Chronic intermittent hypoxia decreases pain sensitivity and increases the expression of Heat shock Inducible Factor, which increases opioid receptors. Specifically, mu and delta opioid receptors increase.
See. Science is fun!
Well if you’re still reading this… good luck!
Warm regards,
♠️1SL❤️
https://selfhacked.com/blog/melatonin/
https://selfhacked.com/blog/why-the-ice-bucket-challenge-is-so-popular-it-functions-like-heroin/
Anonymous asked:
amysubmits answered:
We don’t really do scenes. I know some couples who do scenes like to start them off in similar ways using the same ritual, often kneeling and/or having a play collar put on to help create that sense of transitioning into higher protocol or a more serious tone, etc. We don’t do more protocol while being intimate or anything so we just kinda transitioning into sex (or fooling around) in whatever way feels natural.
When we are intimate a lot of the time it sort of evolves that way after cuddling or massage. Otherwise, he usually will just give an instruction to start it. He’ll tell me to get naked and lay face down on the bedroom, or he’ll take his pants off and point at the floor between his legs, or he’ll just tell me to come suck his cock. Or he’ll come to where I am and reach out a hand and when I take it he’ll walk me into our bedroom (or whever) and he’ll just start doing whatever he wants to do. Or when he’s feeling rougher he’ll just grab my neck or my hair and guide me to where he wants me that way. But we practice sexual availability and we are both into manhandling and objectification so it doesn’t really feel like ‘starting cold’ to us if he just grabs my hair or puts his cock in my face…its a turn on for us in and of itself for it to start rough sometimes. So I realize those wouldn’t work for everybody.
I wish Tumblr search was working better. I know quite a few blogs do ‘scene recaps’ which you could read to get some ideas of how they play out including how they begin? Maybe someone in the comments/reblogs will be able to direct to you to a blog that will be more helpful for you. Sorry.
Tumblr’s tag search is increasingly fucked, so here’s an easy way to find things I’ve tagged with various tags. Point your web browser at the links below and enjoy. Important note: do not just click on a link from here and expect it to work. You need to copy and paste the link into your web browser for it to work. I repeat: do not just click on a link from here and expect it to work. You need to copy and paste the link into your web browser for it to work. If I get messages saying “I clicked on one of those links and it just takes me to your blog,” my reply to you is going to be rude, most likely including the phrase “learn to read, dumbass.” Did I mention you need to copy/paste the links into your browser for it to work?
The famous “Word of the Day”:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/word
Red Flags:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/redflag
Miscellaneous advice:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/advice
Rules and Protocol:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/rules
Various resources:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/Resources
Long Distance Relationships:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/ldr
Info for Dominants:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/dominant
Info for submissives:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/submissive
Punishment:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/punishment
Safeword:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/safeword
Meta Talks:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/metatalk
DD/lg
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/ddlg
Vetting:
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/vetting
Those are the most common, but there are plenty of others. In general, if you want to know if I have info in the vault on X, you can point your browser at
https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/X
where “X” is the topic you’re looking for.
I’m also going to try and be more diligent in my tagging from now on, I’ve slacked recently simply due to the sheer volume of Asks I get.
“You’re not suffering from depression; you are living with it. You are not a victim; you are a survivor. When the darkness settles around you like an impenetrable fog, remember the steel you’re made of and the be empowered by the worship of the one who loves you above all others. Get up. Wake up. Arise, O lions, and shake off the delusion that you are sheep.”
—
Every time I read this, I am shaken by the power of it. Words of iron.
A PM from a Follower, abstracted in the interests of privacy …
“Question. Do you think there are times when I could actually request being beaten till I cry? In a sort of “mental health” kind of way? Am I making sense?“
You’re making perfect sense. In some dynamics, the girl has to “act out” or “act up” to get a beating. It winds up being framed as “punishment.” with all the negativity that entails. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I prefer “maintenance therapy.” It offers several advantages:
It is regular and predictable. The Dom sets up a schedule – weekly, perhaps – where his girl will be given maintenance therapy, using whatever methods are most effective for her. There is no need for her to act out, because she knows she just has to keep it together until her next maintenance session. And for those really high-stress weeks, she can ask permission for an unscheduled one-off maintenance session.
It is not punishment. Punishment tends to bring a lot of negative emotional baggage with it. When done as “maintenance,” it is understood to be “therapeutic” (”mental health,” as you put it) which carries much more positive emotions and thoughts.
No drama. Many D/s dynamics seem to work as follows. Girl acts out. Dom administers punishment. Girl gets the pain she craves. Seems godawful drama-intensive to me! I hate acting out/acting up. If a girl needs pain, she should be able to get it without all that drama and bullshit.
It strengthens the connection. When her Dom gives her “the gift of tears,” and after she kneels with her head in his lap sobbing, the catharsis forges and strengthens that special intimacy that is the hallmark of the best D/s relationships
Anonymous asked:
amysubmits answered:
Lots of people find D/s more fun or exciting if it’s primarily sexual or even exclusively sexual. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, to each their own. I just find a lot of personal meaning in the non-sexual side of things.
I don’t really see myself as trying to balance the sexual side vs the non-sexual side. I don’t think the ratio to how much is sexual vs not is really a factor. I just need a lot of non-sexual submission in my relationship in order to kind of “remember” that I am his submissive. For me, the non-sexual side of D/s is what makes me feel taken care of, watched over, held accountable, safe, secure, etc.
I don’t think there is any one golden key to making me feel submissive outside of play. It just takes a lot of little aspects that reinforce that he is in charge and I’m not. I don’t know how new you are, but I wouldn’t recommend making big, sweeping changes all at once. We have evolved and grown our D/s quite slowly over time. Our kinky play certainly helps to reinforce our D/s roles but I’m going to focus on the non-sexual seems how that is your question.
Some of it involves rules like:
Some of it is the way we’ve divided our relationship responsibilities:
Some of it is him giving me instructions or me seeking his approval or permission:
I ask..
He gives me little instructions like:
So it all just kind of adds up to him being the head of the household and me being the submissive as a result of all of these little things. For me, him having the ability to punish me goes a long way at making it feel very serious. I’ve also recently recognized that when he faces problems head on, and perhaps even shares with me how he has plan b and plan c in place in case the first one doesn’t work, that helps a lot. When he handles things like that it gives me a lot of peace of mind which allows me to feel secure enough to submit more fully.
For me, “day to day” submissive feelings are a lot different than sexual submission. I can sort of see how someone who is used to sexual submission may accidentally overlook submissive feelings in a non-sexual context because they can feel quite different. The sort of submissive headspace that I strive to stay in day to day is one where I feel open and trusting towards CD and feel relaxed and natural while being obedient, following the rules, deferring decisions to him, and so on. For me, it’s soft and warm but most of the time it’s not real intense like sexual submission is.
“A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man; it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero.”
— Stasi Eldredge
